Desperation Breeds Defeat...

...Preparation brings Victory?

I haven't written in a few days on my Made to Crave Journey because I "misplaced" my book for a few days - or should I say, my kids did.

This morning I read one of Lysa's emails that has been sitting in my inbox and I loved it.  It's great timing as I'm headed out of town for a few days for the first time since I've started my new way.  Here it is...it is directly from Lysa word for word:

I was walking through the airport when an incredible aroma suddenly grabbed my attention and taunted, “Do you know how happy I can make you?” A candy shop had just made a fresh batch of
nutty, caramel popcorn.

I felt my knees get weak, because I love caramel popcorn. I started to rationalize buying this special, thinking, “I can’t get this flavor at home, and I’ll take half home to my kids.” In that moment, a new truth God taught me during my healthy eating journey popped into my mind and saved the day: desperation breeds defeat.

In the book of Genesis, the Bible tells an interesting story about twin brothers who illustrate this point. The elder son, Esau, was favored by his father, Isaac, because of his prowess as a hunter. In contrast, the younger son, Jacob, was a quiet homebody. One day, Esau returned home from an unsuccessful hunting trip totally famished, and demanded some stew from his brother. “I’ll give you food,” agreed Jacob, “but first, trade me your birthright.” Esau replied, “Okay, I’m so
hungry, I’m about to die.” So Esau traded the honors due to him as the firstborn son for a simple meal of stew.

Upon first glance, it’s easy to ridicule Esau’s decision. I cannot imagine selling your whole birthright for a pot of soup. But I had to look at my own life and ask, “What great thing have I traded for so little in return? How often do I trade healthy food for junk food? What temporary pleasure have I craved so much that I gave up lasting victory?”

Desperation does indeed breed defeat. But God promises answers for desperate situations in 1 Corinthians 10:13:

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

The “way out” that God provides is the ability to decide in advance what I will and will not eat each day. I plan my meals right after breakfast when I’m feeling full and satisfied. The absolute worst time for me to decide what I’m going to eat is when I’ve waited until I’m depleted and feeling hungry. So I prepare a healthy snack to have on hand or keep in my purse.

When I’m unprepared or I’ve rushed through a proper meal, my stomach screams for something quick. And quick options usually come in a variety of unhealthy temptations, just as I experienced at the airport. However, that day I had decided ahead of time that I would keep an apple in my purse for a snack, rather than trade my healthy progress for something like caramel popcorn.

Let me be clear. I’m not saying that we should flee food. However, we must prevent the control that food can take over our lives. If we purposely begin to think before we eat, we’ll be better able to see the way out that God promises when we are tempted.

Ch. 2 Replacing My Cravings

22 days and no cheating.  Some days have definitely been harder than others!  I only have 7 days left of Justin doing it with me, so then we'll see how hard it becomes after that...

Chapter 2 starts off describing my life - how quick I was to be disappointed by failure and to give in.  How easy it was to be tempted by deliciousness all around me and decide to just well, start tomorrow!!!  And since I'm starting tomorrow, I may as well live it up today!  Struggling to decided if this struggle was really worth it.  Wondering if I should tell anyone, but then they might just decide to actually hold me to a standard!  Coming down to it, when I was faced with "temptation", being able to just fit into the jeans I wanted, was going to cut it.  That can leave me motivated for oh, about 2 days.  I had to really work to identify what the real issue was.

"But I did need to make changes.  I knew it.  Because this wasn't really about the scale or what size my clothes were; it was about the battle that raged in my heart.  I thought about, craved and arranged my life too much around food."  pg. 28

Yes. Yes. Yes!!!  When I read that the first time, I knew this lady was speaking to me.  This was it.  This was my battle.  And finally someone understood!  She went on to talk about people not understanding when she did try to share her struggle.  This was me too.  I was embarrassed and not sure how to tell people exactly what I was thinking and feeling without sounding like I was becoming legalistic or striking out on the next trendy eating craze.  "You're making this food thing about God?  Do you think he even cares about food?"  Well yes, I think He does.

"I craved food more than I craved God.  Food was my comfort.  Food was my reward.  Food was my joy.  Food was what I turned to in times of stress, sadness, and even in times of happiness." pg. 29

I have an unhealthy craving.  Again, this could be anything.  For me, it was food.  He did not make us to crave anything more than we crave Him. This was pretty astounding when I started thinking about it.  It really sobered me into realizing how serious this "issue" had become.  For me, it controlled my emotions - how I felt about myself, my marriage, God, etc.

"God never intended for us to want anything more than we want Him.  Just the slightest glimpse into His Word proves that.  Look at what the Bible says about God's chosen people, the Israelites, when they wanted food more than they wanted God:  'They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved.'  Psalm 78:18"  pg. 29

Wow!   Lysa goes on to remind us what became of them - they continued to wander the desert for 40 years instead of entering into what God had set aside for them - the Promised Land!  She ends with a very practical application - use these cravings to bring yourself closer to God - use them as a prompt to pray.

She goes on to say that whenever she craved something that was not beneficial to her, she prayed.  She complained, she praised, she talked to Him.  She became honest with Him.  As she worked on breaking down the stronghold food had become in her life, dislodging brick after brick, she used turned them into conversations with God, "building a walkway of prayer, paving the way to victory." pg. 30

Check out this amazing verse that has become my morning prayer:

"Give ear to my words, O LORD, consider my sighing.  Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you do I pray.  In the morning, O LORD, you  hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."  Psalm 5:1-3

Ch. 1 What's REally Going On Here?

2 weeks in today.  Honestly, it's been so great.  I'm glad I'm not doing this alone.  I'm excited about the way I feel and that motivates me to keep going, because feeling great feels good.  No?  But even more than that, my mind has been free from the games...a lie sneaks in there now and again, but I am more prepared to leap on it and attack it instead of letting it sit there and fester and grow.

In Chapter 1 of Lysa's book, she takes a look at what cravings are all about and the possibility that yes, God made us to crave.  (Bear with me, there are quite a few scriptures in this one...)

Psalm 84:1-2  "How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty!  My soul yearns, and even faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and flesh cry out for the living God."

Definition of Craving:  something you long for, want greatly, desire eagerly and beg for.  What if God designed us this way - to desire HIM in this way and instead, we have found replacements.  Replacements for that desire that we place in physical things that feel oohhhh so good at that moment (shopping, eating, sex, money, drugs, porn, alcohol, etc) but leave us oh.so.empty afterwards.

God never intended for us to get our physical desires met outside the will of God.  So many years ago, there in the garden, He had given EVERYTHING to a certain first man and first woman.  They lived in a lush home with fellowship with their creator and had need of not one thing until the father of all lies planned his attack.

1 Jn. 2:15-16 says, " Do not love the world or anything in the world.  If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.  For everything in the world - the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has done - comes not from the Father but from the world."

Lysa details 3 ways in which this passage suggests Satan tries to lure us away from our loving God.
1.  The cravings of the sinful man
2.  The lust of his eyes
3.  The boasting of what he has or does
Then she brought us to the story of Eve.  This was amazing to me!  Satan tempted Eve with these exact three things, even as she was surrounded by unbelievable plenty, her desire was turned to what she had not.

Genesis 3:6, "When Eve saw that the fruit of the tree was good [cravings of the sinful man] and pleasing to the eye [lust of his eyes], and also desireable for gaining wisdom [boasting of what she has or does], she took some and ate it." [the one tree God had forbidden them to eat of]

Then she goes on to compare that to when Jesus had been fasting and praying in the desert for - 40 DAYS! and Satan goes to Him to tempt him.  He tempts Him in exactly the same three ways.  It's too long a passage for me to type out here, but it's found in Matt. 4:1-11.

"But here's the significant difference between Eve and Jesus.  Eve was saturated with in the object of her desire.  Jesus was saturated in God's truth.  I obviously wasn't in the garden with Eve, but based on three phrases from Genesis 3:6 I can only infer that she never took her eyes off the fruit as she:  saw that the fruit was good, pleasing to the eye, and desirable...She focused only on the object of her desire."  pg. 23

Wow!!  That was amazing to me.  There she stayed, focusing her attention on what Satan was telling her she wanted so badly.  She didn't flee.  She didn't combat his lies.  She didn't give herself some space to think about it or talk w/Adam or God about it.  The lies consumed her and she craved.

Jesus, on the other hand, when He was tempted with food (after not eating for 40 days!!!!!!!) and with kingdoms and with worship, He fought back.  He recognized the lies because He was saturated in the TRUTH.  He fought back with scripture and beat the temptation.

"Truth is powerful.  He quoted God's Word and so can we."  

"Cravings.  Are they a curse or a blessing?  Depends on what we're craving.  And what we're craving will always depend on whatever we're consuming...the object of our desire or God and His Word."  pg. 24 

It's a battle, but we aren't rendered powerless.  Isn't that amazing?  So today, I'm walking away.  I'm recognizing lies.  I'm fighting with truth.  I'm refocusing.

Made to Crave - Intro

Finding Your "Want to"...

"A typical book on healthy lifestyle choices should contain lots of talk on vegetables, calories, colon cleanses and phrases like 'you must', 'you should', 'or else'.  I have a problem with all that talk.  I know most of it.  It's not the 'how to' I'm missing.  It the 'want to'...really wanting to make changes and deciding that the results of those changes are worth the sacrifice." 

Yup.  That was completely me.  Well, I wanted to change.  I wanted to for years, but the last part there - deciding the results were worth the sacrifices - that's where my problem was.  So, when I picked up this book and read this in the first couple of paragraphs I was pretty excited...okay, this lady gets this part of me!  let's see what else she's got...

She's so honest.  SO HONEST.  I really like that.  She tells where she was on the scale when she started this battle and all her emotions wrapped into that number, although again I related when I read

"the number itself was not the issue.  The issue was how I felt mentally, spiritually, and physically.  It was time to be honest with myself."

She then went on to create a list of rationalizations that kept her and perhaps many of us from tackling our excuses and doing that hard thing:
     *I'm good in every other area
     *I make so many sacrifices all ready
     *I need treats as a comfort in this season of life; I'll deal with my issues later.
     *I just can't give this up.
     *The Bible doesn't specifically say this is wrong.
     *It's not really a problem.  If I really wanted to make a change, I could; I just don't want to right now
     *Oh, for heaven's sake, everyone has issues.  So what if this is mine?

Yup again, all of those had been me and one time or another.  Part of my mental battle was always trying to figure out how important this issue really was.  Because I was always telling myself one of those excuses I wanted to believe, I was having a hard time figuring out why I was still deep inside always so insecure, sometimes depressed, lacking joy and filled with turmoil.

Included in this opening chapter she tells the story of the Rich Young Ruler from the Bible in Matthew 19.  This rich young ruler comes to Jesus and says that he's been following all the rules of the law but still seems to be missing something when he asks Jesus, "What still do I lack?"  Lysa imagines that to mean, "How do I really get close to God?"  Jesus tells him to sell his possessions, give away his money to the poor, and follow Him.

So this story is about how we use our material wealth, right?  And in that case, I can glaze right past it because it just doesn't apply to me.  But what if Jesus was not just out for the guy's money, but his heart?  What if Jesus saw that yes, the man was following all the other "rules" but there was still one area he was not giving up control to.  The craving of the man's heart was money - material possessions, and was he really willing to even let go of that and still follow God?

No.  The story says he went away sad.  Why?  Maybe he knew he should and just couldn't.  Maybe he knew how strong this craving was and couldn't imagine his life existing without it, or didn't want to!  He "won't give away the one thing that consumes him."

Wow.  How many times have I known all the weight-loss rules, the healthy eating plans, and yet instead of drinking a glass of water and grabbing some strawberries for snack, I sneak the cookies out of the cookie jar till I'm sick physically and disgusted w/my lack of control.  I knew the one thing that consumed me but refused to give it up out of fear and excuses.  Now how alike am I to the rich young ruler?  "Kellie, give up the one thing you crave more than me and follow me!"

Didn't Jesus tell us to deny ourselves, take up our crosses and follow him?  Never knew what your cross might be?  I've just discovered what mine is.  I want to stop dragging my divided heart in the mud and really follow him.

I'm going to keep moving through the book chapter by chapter and just jot down some of my thoughts on here, but she has a lot of resources.  At madetocrave.org, you can sign up for a 21 day challenge that gets emailed to you or this website - melissataylor.org - is an online Bible study site where women across the country will also be discussing the book together.

Last thing for today...

"Honestly, were made for more than a vicious cycle of eating, gaining, stressing - eating, gaining, stressing... were made to rise up, do battle with our issues and, using the Lord's strength in us, defeat them - spiritually, physically, and mentally - to the glory of God."

Amen.


All quotes were from Lysa TerKeurst's Made to Crave

In just minutes...

Lysa TerKeurst, author of Made to Crave, will be holding a live, free webcast!  Details follow...


"Lysa will be opening with a Made to Crave devotion that will encourage and inspire you in your healthy eating journey this new year.
After the devotion, Lysa will welcome back from our webcasts last year, our friend, Dr. Chilton, the Biochemist from Wake Forest University. He will share the 5 main things we must know in order to get healthy and remain healthy.
We also have some surprise guests revealing how they plan to make some significant changes in their lives with their eating and exercise. We'll be tracking their progress for 6 weeks on Lysa's website ~www.LysaTerKeurst.com ~ in a NEW Made to Crave Challenge we'll introduce to you – it will be so much fun!
Webcast Overview:

This webcast is FREE and available to anyone with access to the internet. All you have to do is visitwww.LysaTerKeurst.com at 8:00pm EST on Monday."

Made to Crave Friday

I've been so encouraged by those who have written and said they will be praying for me or will be starting this journey with me.  This was part of the reason for doing it publicly for me - I knew I would not be able to do it if I did it alone, struggled through it in secret.  And I had to believe there would be others who struggle with the same thing!


Today is Day 4.  I woke up with a headache, although that is not entirely uncommon for me.  I'll be off to the gym in a little bit.  I just finished the book and have signed up to get her 21 day challenge emails.  Shortly,  I will start going back through the book and recording more of her insights and my thoughts on here.


Here's something I haven't been able to get out of my head:
Thought for the Day: "Eating in its proper context is not the problem. God gave us food for nourishment, strength, and even celebration. But when pleasure becomes unrestrained, there’s a problem." - L.T.

Made to Crave

What do you crave?  Maybe it's chocolate, maybe it's relationships, coffee, alcohol, something you don't or can't have?

This past spring my Bible study used a book written by Lysa Terkeurst.  I had never heard of the woman before, but I loved her.  I mean, I loved the book, I loved her writing - her honesty, transparency and down-to-earthness...I felt like we could be friends.

After finishing that book, I had heard that she had a few others and one of them was called, Made to Crave - the premise being something along the lines of God, food and us.  It intrigued me for so long and I've had it on my wish list since then, but never did anything about it.  Then around Thanksgiving time I just ordered it for myself, just out of the blue.

I started reading it and couldn't put it down.  I have underlined almost everything, read many passages aloud to Justin, cried through it, wondered how everything I had ever thought or struggled with about food was worded and expressed just so perfectly - HOW DID SHE DO THAT?  It has brought me to a whole new understanding of myself and my struggle.  It has challenged me in a way nothing else ever has (in regards to this subject) - challenged me in a way to finally get to the end of me and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!  I WANT MORE!!!

I may be a bit confusing right now, but my story is long and I'm not sure if and when I'll spill it all, but I do know as I said before that I'm done hiding.  I'm ready to change and for me, that involves opening the closed door.  I can't do this alone and I can't do it in private, pretending on the outside everything is just fine.

Sooo, today January 3rd was the first day.  The first day of some changes around here.  I'm going back through the book, chapter by chapter and am going to be sharing quite a bit of that journey on here.  I'm excited.  I'm scared.  But I'm ready.  Let's go!

Victory?

The last day of 2011.  It has been quite the day.  I have not been able to shake the feeling that the gray heavy sky outside is wrapping itself around me and stealing any light, any energy, any joy I may have.  Another year over, a new one about to begin.  I am usually filled with anticipation and excitement about what is in store, but this year...this year:

"Like a vast majority of people, the holiday pounds were making my clothes pull and protest.  Again.  And these were my big clothes.  So many years I had vowed to do better and here I was again, defeated.  I didn't want to write a cheesy resolution that would wind up at the bottom of my purse torn, tattered and eventually used to wrap a chewed piece of gum...I want victory, but I feel so weak."

I feel SO WEAK.

"We were created to be God's representatives as we live out loud the message of God in our daily lives.  But I'll be honest, the last think I feel like doing when I'm in a defeated state is to reach out to people.  i don't want to 'be made new in the attitude of my mind', nor do I want to 'put on my new self created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.'  I want to cry.  I want to withdraw.  I want to be jealous that others don't have my issues.  I want to be mad at God for giving me this metabolism."  

I'm tired of this struggle.  I'm tired of the mind-games.  The guilt.  The self loathing.  The...

"attitudes that I've wrapped in a lie.  'Well, that's just how I am and if that's all the bad in me, I'm doing pretty good.'"

I'm scared.  I'm scared to begin, scared to fail.  I know I can't do it on my own, but as Justin reminded me during my cry-fest, I'm right, I can't do it on my own and that's the point.  I'm at the place where my lack of discipline disgusts me.  I'm there.  I'm at the end of me.   Which means, if I want to change, only HE can do it.  God's unwavering strength.  A.W. Tozer writes that "God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible.  What a pity when we plan only the things we can do by ourselves."

I've been prideful, thinking I could do it on my own and then failing time and time again.  I've been too embarrassed to be honest, to let it out and admit my weaknesses.  I've been telling myself lies that my lack of self control and discipline doesn't really matter, it's just food, it's not a God thing.  And for some people, it's not a God Thing.  But for me, it's gonna have to be.

"He's given me everything and I don't want to forget.  Not with my mind, not with my soul, not with my heart, and certainly not with my body." 

"And so I've made the choice to step into a place of intentional sacrifice.  A place where my strength would fail, should fail.  'My flesh and heart my fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.' Psalm 73:26" 

That's where I'm at.  That's where I'm at this New Year's Eve, 2011.  I'm not hiding anymore.  I'm not pretending this struggle doesn't exist.  Because it does.  And I'm ready to defeat it.


*All quotes from Lysa Terkeurst's Made to Crave.